They're labelled home-wreckers, but the city's ‘other women’ are human too

In some cultures she is accepted, but in most she is reviled. Questions are thrown around regarding her debauched character. She is the 'other woman' in a married man's life — the much-maligned mistress.

Reams of print and rolls of film have been dedicated to her. More often than not, she is portrayed as the high-heeled, elegant, talon-wielding, woman, out to get her man at all costs. Yet in real life, she could be simply your next-door neighbour, your boss, or even your closest friend.

The reasons for a woman entering a relationship that is not only emotionally draining, but one that has a minuscule chance of ending happily, are many. "For some women, it's the chase — the desire to have something they know they cannot have. For others, it's the need for stability," says psychiatrist and counsellor, Dr Anjali Chhabria. "And you can't discount the fact that many are in love with the idea of a soulmate; the idea of someone somewhere who is meant for you."

That's what happened to Salma Shaikh, a young computer professional from a conservative family, who fell for her married co-worker. Their initial meetings at work turned into long talks, then meetings outside work, and longer phone calls. Salma confesses: "I got attracted to him, in spite of knowing we had no future together. We began sharing our problems with each other and grew closer." The closer they got the more their love bloomed.

Psychologist, Seema Hingorrany, puts it down to low self-esteem and financial reasons. "Married men provide a fatherly love to young and vulnerable girls. Besides, they are financially settled in life." Girls who enter into such affairs are usually vulnerable and require emotional and financial cushioning. Married men make them feel beautiful.